How can a weird loner learn to socialize?
- Tuesday Oct 20,2009 06:27 AM
- By diddy
- In Others
Well, im going to San Antonio real soon to see family, and just hang around. However i have a serious problem.
I DON’T know how to socialize, at all. I have always been a loner, but i want to change that. But i don’t know where to start.
Im a real nice guy, 19 years old, average body, although another obstacle would be my lack of interest in what most people are into. I like deep subjects, and other miscellanea.
Those are my two primary obstacles. How can i go about changing this?
19 Years, Im Real, Lack Of Interest, Loner, Nice Guy, Obstacle, Obstacles, San Antonio, Weird
16 Comments
I, too, was once a weird loner.
Here is the secret to socialization:
Ask people questions about themselves. When you find something a little bit interesting, then ask more questions. Get them talking about themselves, and they will think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread (because everyone loves talking about their favorite subject, lol)
Smile and look at people in the eye. I know, you feel uncomfortable, and you don’t want to be rejected. Don’t worry. Just look straight in the eye, and smile. Say hi, and then ask them a question about themselves.
Learn everyone’s name. That is not my skill, it is hard for me. But try to recall names, and use the name periodically, as in, "Hi Joe," and then insert a fact you learned about them after you asked a question about themselves…such as "Hi Joe, did you ever get that 64 Mustang running?"
Seek a point of common interest. It may be music, movies, books, or a sports team. After you learn more about a person, it is likely there is some area you have in common, no matter how trivial. Play that up.
Invite people to activities. Be the person who initiates a fun time. Say, hey, you want to go to Barnes and Noble? Or something that might be fun for you. As you can see, going to Barnes and Noble is fun for me, but would not be that fun for many others.
Realize that if you are particularly intelligent, you may not have many very deep friendships, but that is okay, as long as you have a couple of deep friendships, the rest can just be "fun social" relationships.
Don’t be self conscious. That is a killer for your social life.
Good luck.
what are you into? find other people into the same things or jus say fuck it and be friendly with everyone, i talk to random people all the time
I am the same way, I am in therapy and I am learning how to socialize in group setting, it is difficult for me too, don’t feel bad you are not alone!
you and i are silmilar..
i have no advice for you.. the reason why its so awkward is because you think that they think youre not interested..
just try your best to act "normal"
I have been you in the past. You need to find intelligent people with which you can have deep conversations. I would also suggest reading up on social psychology.. and going to a book store cafe and striking up a conversation with people there.
You have to find a way to get around others with the same interests.
Then you have something to talk about.
Whatever your interests are there has to be a club or something that meets in your area.
Target places they may house your type of people bro, libraries..ect One other MAJOR tip..pretend your online,your question was written well and exudes confidence, life is easy my brother, grab a-hold of it and enjoy the ride because it will leave you standing if you don’t!!embrace yourself and others for your differences are what make you YOU!
You do not change who you are. You are not interested in mainstream topics? Pretending you are to become a socialite will not make you happy. Talk to everyone. If they don’t like you, who cares? You’ll probably never see them again and there are 5 billion other people to talk to. Talk to everyone and you’ll find someone to socialize with who shares the same interests as you sooner or later.
Just be who you are… Maybe someone else that you are unaware of rom your family likes the same types of deep subjects and miscellanea. There is nothing wrong with you. Just be yourself.
go to the store an just start talking to random people..or chat rooms..even here. Lol im exactly the same. i have no interest in shallow meaningless subjects.
I hear you, man. You just gotta get out there and do it. Find groups of people that have some common interest. It could be anything, sports, music, art, kareoke, whatever! You may be able to find some people in your area with Meetup: http://www.meetup.com
If you look for people, you will find them, no matter how unpopular your own interests may seem.
i myself have the same problem. i guess you can fake it til you make it or just get into shallower subjects for a day. look at it like a social experiment and it won’t intimidate you so much. but then again, i’m probably not the right one to answer this. thank you and good luck.
take chances !!!!!!!talk to people diff people u wouldnt normaly talk to or chill with try diff stuff cuz it seems what ur doing dosent make u very happy so change it only u can do that nobody can do it for u butdont change urself u anybody else but yourself n ur own need’z and wants good luck kid just rememba it up to u only u can control or change ur life n only u can make urself happy with urself n ur life n i hope u true;y find urself n happyness i know u will dont give up one urself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
You don’t change. You attempt to find others who are interested in the things you are. You do learn to tolerate others, and perhaps contribute every once in a while to the conversation when you are with family.
But soon, you are young, you should start to develop adult friendships, and hopefully will meet people similar to yourself. If they call you a geek, too damn bad, they’ll get over it, as you lead a happy and successful life. In San Antonio, walk along the river, visit the Alamo, read about the history. There’s a great old hotel there that you can go in and see pictures of it’s past. If you are religious the cathedral there is very historic, I think Robt. E. Lee, was one of the founders when he was stationed there as a younger man. They also have concerts. The city is culture oriented. I hope you enjoy it. Maybe spread your time between family and outings alone.
I hope you are going to attend college and university; it will be easier to find those with similar interests, and perhaps even a club that devotes itself to something you like. Good Luck.
hang around the river walk in the evening and act like the rest of ‘em
Thanks for describing me….
Welcome to the game…
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