How to handle it when a visiting family member says they are ‘disgusted’ when your dog comes near to them?
- Friday Nov 6,2009 12:15 PM
- By diddy
- In Others
Say at mealtimes you can shut the dog out of the room, but what about other times during the visit? Should the dog be shut away for the duration or kept in it’s bed away from the awkward person? Say the dog is under the false impression that the visitor is actually ‘nice’ and tries to say ‘hello’? How should this sort of stuff actually be handled to avoid rows developing?
Duration, False Impression, Family Member, Hello, Visiting Family
31 Comments
My guests are greeted with a sign:
I love my dogs,
This is their home,
From which I hope
They’ll never roam.
They’re faithful friends,
I love them best.
This is their home,
You are the guest.
If dogs to you
Are just a peeve,
Then by all means
Feel free to leave!
That pretty much lets ‘em know how I feel about their complaining about my dogs. That said, for short-term visits, there is nothing wrong with confining the dogs (it would be polite, and won’t emotionally scar your pets-I routinely put my dogs in their "playroom" when I have company outside of my family.
Long-terms guests who know you have a dog when they accept the invitation should be willing to make some adjustments for visiting a home with dogs, however. They can’t expect you to lock up your dogs for their entire visit, just as you can’t expect them to love the dogs like you do. Someone that "disgusted" with dogs shouldn’t be imposing on someone who has them, in my opinion, but were I in your shoes, I would try to accomodate them my keeping your dogs in another area for part of the day, and when the dogs are with the guests, be certain that they are well-behaved, don’t jump on the guests, and generally don’t beg for attention (make your dogs ignore the guests).
I would ask them to leave my home if my dog offends them.
Same here brutus. LOL
Personally, if I had a family member that did not like my dog I would not invite them into my house. I am not going to put away my dog because somebody is "disgusted". I would meet with them outside of my house. It is rude for them to say that in the first place.
The old cliche fits perfectly. Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m guessing they are getting free room & board while staying with you, which means they don’t have a right to complain about the other members of the household. If it disgusts them so much, give them the phone number to a local inn.
If it’s a situation where this isn’t an option, then you can do your best to keep the dog away from this person. Keep the dog around other family members most of the day. Don’t lock the dog up (mealtime is ok), but just keep it away from this person the best you can without taxing you or the dog excessively. I would NOT force the dog on to them nor give ultimatums. "Accidents" tend to happen when people are shoved and you don’t want the dog to get hurt.
I would tell them that this is more of my dogs house then theirs, and tell them to get out if they don’t like it! Even if it is a family member!
Try to keep the dog away from the visitor but don’t make the animal suffer. It is its home.
I would Never shut the dogs out of the room for anybody. It’s my dogs house as well as mine not the people who are visiting.
If they said they are "disgusted" I think I would get upset and let them know I was. I would ask them why they are "disgusted" and I better get a good answer or they would be out the door because my dogs are small and very, very, very well behaved.
maybe you should let the person say hello to the dog make sure its on a leash take it fro a quick walk get all its energy out and let it inside but try to get it to sit and stay in a certain area..i got my dog to when you say corner she goes to her little corner…but if the dog becomes hyper then put it outside…DOGS WILL LIVE OUTSIDE FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE THAT SAY DOGS CANT STAY OUT FOREVER.THEY CAN STAY OUT FOR A LEAST 2-3 MAYBE 4 HOURS IT DOESN’T MATTER
Honestly, it is up to you, but in my household, there’s a sign that says, "This household maintained for the comfort and contentment of the Shelties. If you can’t live with that, there’s a nice motel just up the road. We’ll be glad to meet you there for dinner."
ADDED: Hey Raspberry…my house, my rules. If they invite me to their house, I’ll go there instead without my dogs. I never asked anyone to lock up their spitting up baby.
That’s a really hard question to answer. It depends on the family member and how much you value your relationship with them. If it is a short visit, I would just keep the dog away. That’s not to say that I would not be really offended that this person felt that he or she had the right to make such a statement in MY home. If they are staying for a longer period of time (say a weekend) then I think I would have to tell them that the dog "lives" here and that I’m not comfortable putting my dog out for that long. Perhaps a hotel would be more comfortable. If they continued to speak out against my dog, I would politely tell them "This is my home and my dog lives here. I am not willing to discuss your opinion of my dog further." Of course, I come from a family where a woman complained about getting cat hair on her clothes when she was at my grandma’s and my grandma said, "Well, what did you expect? You’re sitting in the cat’s chair."
My dog will NOT be shut away. It’s my dogs home, not theirs, they can shove it up their a-rses
It’s generally considered polite to keep your dog away from someone who hates him. (Of course, it’s also polite to not say that you hate someone’s dog). Your dog won’t be traumatized if you put him in another room while you have company, and it will make the visit more pleasant for you and your guest.
When my friends come, that don’t care for dogs, I shut them in another room, or outside. I respect the fact that not everyone loves dogs. I happen to value my friendship with my friends. Dogs don’t have FALSE impressions.
If you really the family member to come over, i recommend that you put your down in a different room, but do it before they come over, so that your dog doesn’t know they are even there, and when your family leaves let your dog out, but make sure you put the dog in the room before they come over. also figure out why they thinks your dog is "disgusting"
Jennifer T. Wow that’s a little much.
I agree on the guest having to "deal" with it, but you are bordering obsession.
My dog lives here, get over it or get out.
I will call my dogs to me and away from the person, sometimes. But this is my house, my dog’s house, and if you enter you live by MY rules.
If I’m out in the general public, that’s a different matter. I will always make sure my dogs don’t go by someone who does not want the attention from them. That’s just responsible, courteous dog ownership.
Now if you’re bringing your dog to some family gathering that’s not in your house. That’s more work, your dog better be on its best behavior. I have a couple relatives with poorly behaved dogs, one is a house soiler, the other is a biter. Neither are allowed at my home and I will not go to a gathering if I know the biter will be there. Not worth the risk to my kids, especially since the dog is often left unattended. And has even tried to bite me and my SO more than once.
If they are allergic, then why are they in your home in the first place? If they are scared, then let them slowly warm up to the dog. If they are just outright proud, then explain to them that locking them up to keep them away from them is just unreasonable, and that could cause several issues.
Tell them to leave if they do not like it, it is your home and your dogs home, not theirs.
and in the future do not invite them over till they can get some common sense manners.
Please do not shut your dog out, it is not fair at all.
shut the family member out instead.
People don’t like the dogs being around, then tell them they can stay away….your dog comes first.
For a while at first, I would simply call my dog/s away from the visitor. I don”t think I would need to tell the visitor to leave if they didn’t like my pets being friendly. I’m sure the visitor would shorten their visit or never come again, LOL.
Beverly
How long is the person staying? If it’s just for a few hours, shutting the dog away is probably the lesser of two evils. If it’s longer than that, then the visitor needs to understand that it’s the DOG’S house, not THEIRS.
If they have a fear of dogs and it’s someone you are close to. I would do the best I could to keep my dog away from her.
But if it’s someone who just being rude. I would tell them you knew I had a dog before you came here. This is my dogs home. I think next time we should visit you.
Personally I would tell them to suck it because that is your home and your dog’s home and if they don’t like it then they can leave!
My Lucky Charm comes first. lol
You could have described my pain in the a$$ aunt & uncle who come over from Canada twice a year……
Since they only visit my home for a few hours, I simply ensure my Dobermanns are recalled away from wherever they happen to be with a firm *leave*. I rarely have to reinforce the leave command during a visit.
I WOULD NOT allow someone who couldn’t tolerate the presence of my Dobermanns to stay overnight, as it’s my dogs home too & I would suggest a hotel or guest house.
They can leave by the same door they came in.
However, It is my responsibility to make sure my dog is.
a. Polite and doesn’t say "hello" by jumping on, drooling on, or barking at the visitor.
b. My dogs do no have to be put away at mealtime because they know they are not allowed to beg, jump on, or even look at a human eating.
c. If the owner of the dog cannot control the dog, it should be put away, then signed up for an obedience class the next day.
When my friends come over, they are aware that they may take a few dogs hairs with them when they leave. But they can be assured that my dogs will not harrass them, unless of course they call the dog to them and start to play. Then, all bets are off.
Does your dog smell?
Does s/he slobber?
Does s/he have bad breath?
Does s/he have bad social skills (humping, jumping, growling, etc.)?
If so… might be okay to seperate your dog until you can resolve the issues.
If not… I would probably say "I know my dog is not disgusting. We’re family you can be honest… are you allergic to dogs or just afraid of them?" But I can be blunt like that. If they’re allergic… you may need to seperate them. If they’re afraid, you might be able to work past it. If they’re just being a jerk, dog stays.
Assuming the dog is behaving well, not drooling all over someone or trying to crawl in their lap, I’d be inclined to tell them that the dog lives here and if they’re not comfortable with having a dog around, it would be best if they don’t visit my house again. If it’s only a few hours, I’d put the dog in another room. More than that, I guess the people better go somewhere else.
No, tell them to get a hotel. Your dog is part of the immediate family.
All you have to say is that it is OK, he only wants to hump your leg, he is just being friendly. You must have heard of the saying "love me, love my dog?" It is not your hound that is the problem, it is your family member.
Your house.. your dog. If they dont like it… they shouldnt come over.
I would offer to find a hotel for the guests
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